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Seattle, WA, United States
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Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Can you Transform into less awesome, no way!

Quick one on the movie I saw last night. First of all, I lowered all expectations before seeing "Transformers II". That's what you have to do. Set the bar so low that it feels like you are leaping over it, no matter what happens. So here were my three criteria for this to be a good movie: 1) Things had to explode, alot. 2) Things had to explode, alot. 3) Megan Fox has to be running around, alot. "Transformers II, Revenge of the Fallen" was three for three. How could I be upset about that? It really is the best mindset to have when going to the movies, especially when its $10+ dollars now to see.

Transformers even went above and beyond my expectations. We've got too more racist robots, Skid and Mudflap. Some hot biker girl robots. Oh, and (spoiler?) some crazy hot terminator 3 like robot that tries to fuck Shiala LeBeouf to death. Optimus Prime doesn't have lines like "my bad" which is kind of nice. Shiala's character's mom is also a highlight. She is the source of most of the swearing and sexual reference. Without her character I'm sure we could have brought this down to a PG rating.

Best part of the movie is the complete rush of "I want to blow some shit up" feeling that you get after watching this movie. That's really the only feeling you can have. Cause "that was a fantastic cinematic event" doesn't really come to mind much. So if you don't get the first one, you're kind of screwed. My friend Matt and I left the theater and decided it was a good idea to completely tweak out in front of all the parents and their kids. I was thinking, it must suck to take a kid to this film as a parent, then I realized how we were acting, and I thought, "crap, how much would it suck to take us to the movies? We're 25. Oh well, screw it!" Then we tried to do our best impersonation of a transformer sound, which probably would have confused even a meth-head from Marysville. About 15 minutes later I got home and passed out, having expended all the energy I unusually burn over 3 hours in about 5 minutes. Whatever, I blame the Linkin Park song.

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